


A Jump to The End

by AceandShadow



Series: Inside the Guardian [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Deep Stone Crypt, Despair, Final Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceandShadow/pseuds/AceandShadow
Summary: An Exo Warlock is due for a reboot but remembers all too well the nightmares he faces in the Deep Stone Crypt and his mind is left scattered by his thousands of thoughts and feelingsHis final thoughts muddled and panicked as his questions and convictions fight for priority in his puzzled mind.
Series: Inside the Guardian [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680844
Kudos: 2





	A Jump to The End

_A jump to the end…_

_A jump to the…end…_

_The end…_

_What is the end? Is it better than this? Whatever…this…is...?_

_My arm…it has…threads hanging from it? Are they the threads of my life? Did I pull them? Did I pull them off? Where is my hand?_

_Where is my Ghost? Did he? Did he leave me? Why would he leave me?_

_We were supposed to be partners… - together forever… He said I’d never be alone, but I don’t see him here. Did he help them?_

_No._

_He wouldn’t…would he?_

_I can’t go back there. I can’t go back to that…place. The nightmares. The monsters. I don’t know about the others. The other Exos. The ones with numbers… How do they do it?_

_Go back there._

_Time and time again._

_How do they stay whole? I…I am not whole._

_But I still work! I’m still functioning! I can still take them on. I can do everything they say the Awoken can. I can do everything they say a Human can. I don’t see them get taken to…that…that place_

_That…dark._

_That dark…dangerous place._

_I haven’t been the same since._

_I can’t keep running._

_‘Compromised’? How can I be compromised? I haven’t been captured by enemies. I haven’t been reprogrammed by…anyone…anything._

_My hand…maybe I took it off…_

_More threads. This is my reality. Unravelling…_

_A jump to the end? Which end? My end?_

_No._

_How?_

_That place? No. That isn’t my choice._

_Do I need my legs? Why? Why must I run to live?_

_I AM NOT COMPROMISED! DO YOU HEAR ME? I’M WHOLE! I’m whole! I’m whole…I’m…whole…_

_What is whole?_

_To keep fighting for a number to keep a gun in my holster? To have a fireteam._

_What was I before this?_

_If I look inside…does my heart beat? Is my blood warm? My lungs…are they...? Do they...?_

_No._

_I’m different. I don’t play the game that…that place wants me to play…_

_Cayde…6…how does he do it? The bravado? The shield…_

_Lakshmi…2…she has yet to experience the worst…_

_But…Banshee…44? He has experienced it…all. He…he is not whole…but he is not compromised like I…what did I do? What am I to them? What are they to me?_

_I can’t go back. They can’t make me._

_A jump to the end…? Not the end I choose…_

_Why am I hiding? Why am I scared?_

_The monsters…the nightmares…of that…that place. Why do they want to take me there?_

_I AM WHOLE!_

_I leak…I opened up and I leak. I hope my end is the end I choose._

_A jump to the end, but the end I choose._

_I will not let that Crypt take a hold of me one more time. I will not let the monsters take me alive. The nightmares – they will not get me this time._

_I won’t let them._

_I WON’T LET THEM!_

_The Vanguard does not command me anymore…no more fireteams…no more strikes. I won’t play their game. I won’t listen to their…their rules._

_No more._

_A jump to the end…but it’s the end I choose._

_My arm – not part of me. My hand – not at play._

_My legs…they run no more. Not from the Crypt. Not from the Vanguard. Not from my Ghost. No-one…_

_A jump to the end…so soon._

_So long…_

*Intercepted radio transmission from the Vanguard Spectral Network to the Vanguard*

[VSN 1.1] We found a disembodied Exo out west in the EDZ. His left arm in tatters and his right hand missing. The circuits in his legs were detached and his chest was opened up. He isn’t rusty, so this Warlock hasn’t been out here for too long. Do you want us to bring in the shell, anyway?

[VNG 1.1] Have we identified him as the compromised Exo due for his reboot?

[VSN 2.1] There’s not a lot to identify…

[VNG 1.2] Bring whatever you can in – we need all the help we can get with the Cabal waging war on Mars. Leave no man behind, understand?

*Transmission terminated*

[VSN 2.2] I don’t think this guy wanted to be saved…

[VSN 1.2] He isn’t the only one. My buddy had a Guardian Exo about to hit 17. He slowly lost him. Couldn’t bring him back.

[VSN 3.1] This one’s mine. He’s supposed to hit 11, but then he started freaking out mid-missions. I couldn’t bear to see him sink so low, so I thought I was helping him. Then I lost him. Now I lost him for good…

[VSN 1.3] We’ll bring him back to you.

[VSN 3.2] No. He wouldn’t want that…


End file.
